I have a birthday coming up. Musique23 turns 25 in less than 2 weeks! A quarter of a century, I have been on this planet, breathing its air and hopefully contributing to its existence… That’s kind of heavy. I may need to take a minute…
And I’m back, since this is a blog and not in real time (thank heavens, or the few post I have so far would have sometimes taken y’all months to read, fully completed and edited) and you only see what I want you to see and I feel that the “…” properly portrayed my angst at the time.
I am a Leo. A lady lion. Also know as a lioness. Because that is the proper title for a lady lion. Making my second sentence unnecessary. Anyway… As A Leo, I am supposedly feisty and fiery and fierce and apparently a lot of positive f words. I’m also passionate and loyal. I am a fire sign. I am Hestia. There are those who know who I actually am, behind (actually, in front of) the booty-less-ness. THEY WILL GIVE ME PRESENTS. Everybody else just knows me from my picture and I hope (please God) that no one has become so taken with my blog that they’ve hunted my actual identity down, because what’s the point of hiding behind a made-up persona on the internet if people actually know you? Even though I would be flattered that my writing moved you that much and it might cement my interest in pursuing a MFA in Creative Writing which my family often tell me I should be doing. (Keep it together girl, there was a point to this post!)
As I inch ever closer to this milestone birthday, I have decided to stay [mostly] positive. I had a bad birthday last year. I was going to celebrate it and be happy but then my mother kind of told me that I hadn’t done much with my life to celebrate and then I was all depressed and she acted surprised which made me mad and I like to hold grudges which is hard to do when you’re parents still mostly support you and require regular check-ins to make sure you’re still alive… This birthday, I shall be happy! True, I may not be in the place in my life that I originally envisioned when I started high school or college, but hey, I have no babies, I haven’t been arrested, and good books are still being written every day. Life could be worse.
However, a rosy post gushing about all the Snow White-esq things that make my life tolerable would be beyond boring to read and write, so I’m going to take a honest look at those things that both made me happy and sad as I approach the end of my first quarter century.
- CON: I haven’t really started my life yet. No job/career, no apartment/residence of my own. Still kind of in limbo here…
- PRO: This is the last birthday I’ll spend as an undergrad in college because I GRADUATE IN MAY!
- PRO: I have travelled quite a bit. Four continents, ten countries.
- CON: I don’t have a real resume. About four months working in a movie theater in my twenties, that’s all I got.
- CON: I didn’t have a semester abroad.
- PRO: I have a pretty good relationship with my family.
- PRO: I don’t have any mortal enemies. Except Paris Hilton. She just irks me. But I’m 99.99% positive that hatred is one way. Unless you want to start something?!
- PRO: Have I mentioned that there are good books to read and how happy this makes me in general?
- CON: I don’t think I’m going to be able to pledge this sorority that I’ve wanted to since I was little while in college. And it’s much more expensive doing it via grad chapter. And my mother was going to pay if I did it while in college.
- CON: I have no money. None. That sucks so much.
- PRO: I have quality friends who make me happy.
- PRO: I have an awesome boyfriend who makes me happy.
- PRO: I have big boobs. Is it altruistic and helpful to the world in general? No. But I’m tall and I have feet that it’s hard to find shoes, especially cute ones, for, and it helps that I have pretty awesome melons to cope with all that.
- PRO and CON: I hail from Detroit. (This is a post in and of itself; I’ll get there eventually, I promise.)
- PRO: My music taste is superb.
- CON: My sister doesn’t live in the same city or state as me and in less than 2 months, she’ll be moving farther away after she gets married and leaves me as the only LAST NAME OMITTED FOR SECURITY REASONS and I’ll be a fifth wheel in my immediate family.
- PRO: I have an awesome older sister
- PRO: I never truly went hungry. I came from a family of not modest means and that afforded me opportunities that have shaped me into the woman I am.
- CON: I really worry that I’m not going to be able to provide that experience for my own kids.
- PRO, and I’m going to continue with PROs from here on out: I honestly consider myself in the top 90% of readers in the world.
- PRO:I have a wonderful voice (that I should probably take more lessons for).
- PRO: I took 10 years of piano and I loved it and my teacher was one of the nicest piano teachers in the land of Michigan.
- PRO: For my last piano recital/competition, I beat this one student who won 1st place EVERY YEAR and even had his own students and I realize that it shouldn’t really matter, but I still feel pretty damn good about that over 5 years later.
- PRO: I have awesome style. Not for a big girl, not for a Black girl; I have awesome style in general.
- PRO: My future, despite all my worrying, is still pretty damn bright.
And thusly, I greet 25 with open and honest arms.
Black Without Back 