I was watching some show or movie and the main female lead (*cough* White! *cough*) was lamenting on how limiting it is to be smart and how she wishes that she had been able to blend in more and other such bullshit. I think she was wrong. I think the character was actually supposed to be a simpleton. This is a recurring theme in a lot of shows/movies/memes though, and it confuses me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m Black and our community, in general, doesn’t have that same hang up with peer pressure that the White community does, but I have never understood that. You think it’s somehow desirable to not figure things out, to be perpetually confused and behind the 8 ball? Are you sure you’re smart, cause that is one of the most stupid things I’ve heard all day. Yet again and again, in books and movies and television shows, it is implied that to be graced with a lofty intelligence, to put things together a little faster than normal is either a curse or somehow transforms you into a snob of the fancy cheese and obscure references variety.

I have a confession which I hope surprises no one: I, musique23, am smart. I am writing this post in my college library, after getting done with a tutoring session in which I was a tutor. (Side note: I didn’t know I was going to be the tutor, I just sent out a class email about studying for our upcoming exam, but somehow I ended up explaining z scores and, oh well, I really hope I get an A on this test.) Most of it is genetics and luck/upbringing/music. You want your child to develop quicker? Put your baby, once they reach a reasonable age, in front of an instrument. I started playing the piano when I was 8 (I begged for those lessons!) and playing music and learning theory and practicing and learning foreign music phrases from an early age has helped me out so much. I read for fun. (My soul breaks a little every time someone tells me that they just don’t read.) I find European history fascinating and less than a month ago, recited an abbreviated history of Queen Elizabeth and the Windsor family to my friends while we at a buffet at MGM Grand Casino.

I have always been a little sharper than average. I got problems quicker than others in school. Assigned readings in class that were assigned in class over a month would take me a weekend. While my grades have not always reflected my intelligence, I walk down the street and feel pretty damn confident in my cognitive abilities. (Except for science. Me and science; man, we wanted to be friends so badly but we just could never click…) Albert Einstein I am not, and I doubt that I would win even a grand of Jeopardy, but I am smart. And I have had so much fun being smart.

Seriously, it is so much fun being smart! I have never understood why intelligence is often portrayed as some type of burden, the weight of the world on the thinkers’ shoulders. Do you ever see people laughing over inside jokes, looking like they are just having the times of their lives with this knowledge that they share? Do you get jealous? You should. My inside joke is intelligence and it is fracking hilarious.

There are different types of smarts, and I only have some of them. There’s book smart, knowing your way around one’s literary works. There’s trivia smart, learning and hoarding little tidbits of information that you can pull out and show off when needed. Often book smart can lead to trivia smart. (When I was like 14, while on vacation with my family and some friends, we were playing Catchphrase. My mother was trying to get us to guess with “You fill it up and throw it and it explodes… You can make them at home… Often used in revolution/rebellions…” I screamed out “Molotov cocktail!” and our team got the point. Immediately afterwards, she turned to me and asked how did I know that. I shrugged, I’d learned it reading a book. (Also, I just looked up Molotov cocktail in order to determine how to spell it right, so if the NSA is now monitoring my blog and life, worry not! If I’m gonna take over the government, then world, you won’t see it coming…)) There are street smarts, which I am gradually acquiring. There are language smarts and mathematical smarts and so many more. And all of them grant you access to this awesome club of not only knowing what the hell you’re talking about, but into the lingo, quirks, and perks of not only your brand of intelligence, but the intelligent world.

Somehow, there’s gotten to be this stigma about being smart, as if it’s something to be ashamed of or something that you bear with dignity. Fuck that! Stupidity, that’s a burden. Illiteracy, that’s a weight on your shoulder. Being smart? Not only a passport you can cultivate, is an entry into a world of fun. Personally, I blame reality TV. I really wanted to give y’all an example, but I don’t watch enough reality TV to give one. (Except for Total Divas. I love me some Total Divas. But the Divas are some smart ladies.)

You’ve seen those clips of the smart ass kids, right? If you honestly answered no to my question, I don’t even know how you found my blog; seriously, stop reading Black Without Back and go to YouTube this very second. I was kind of one of those kids. I remember this one vocabulary assignment in English and we had two write 2 sentences, one with the word given and another with one of its synonyms. Now that I think about it, that sounds like a kind of weird assignment… Anyways, I don’t remember what the vocab word was but I remember that one of the synonyms was gay. And I, smart aleck musique23, put together this wonderful sentence of “The Teletubbies are a popular television show and the gay Tinkie Winkie is a fan favorite.” My mother looked over my homework and found this sentence. She looked up at me and lifted an eyebrow. I, knowing EXACTLY why I was being surveyed, blinked at her as honestly as possible and asked, “What? The Teletubbies are a kid’s program; they are often happy and jolly!” She just shook her head. “Change it, smarty pants,” she finally said, smiling at he youngest child’s brilliant wit.

You think a child bemoaning about his/her (usually a her. WHY LADIES!?! It took us centuries to be thought of with regards to our brains! Don’t backslide, for the love of God!) high intelligence would have taken the perverse pleasure in that sentence that I did? Nope! And I gotta tell you, it was fun… So much fun that over a decade later, I still think of the occasion and smile.

I wrote this post not just for the smarty pants out there, big and small, male and female (and in between; musique23 respects and supports the gender choices of all: rights for everyone!), I wrote this post for me too. Because there have been times when I’ve supplied an answer in class before anyone else or even corrected the instructor and I’ve been embarrassed. And later, while reviewing my day (as most self-conscious and neurotic musiques are wont to do) I get mad at myself. I should never feel the need to apologize for being smart. I should never hold back on my brain. You should bring your education game up so that I don’t have to slow down! (Nope, took it too far…) One of the reasons that I love my beau as much is that he’s smart as me. You don’t know what an enlightened sexy man looks like until you have an in-depth conversation about how the Ishvalans in “Full Metal Alchemist” are obviously representative of Muslims but at the same time are the socio-political equivalents of the Jewish people in Europe during the second World War and segue that into a conversation about the Israeli-Palestine debacle. Book, trivia, and general educational conversation, all wrapped up in my own personal 6’4″ package? Shivers!

So, my closing thought, before I go on another tangent and therefore off-topic again: Be smart. Be proud. Be proud of being smart. Because the alternative is being dumb. And even though I don’t know what that’s like, I’m guessing it sucks.